Jesting about Love

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“And among His signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” Ar-room 30:21.

Islam and Love

The Messenger of Allah salla Allahu alayhi wa sallm speaking about his wife Khadija said: “Verily, I was filled with love for her.”

Mawahdah – love/intimacy

Wa rahma – mercy

1.    Love: The definition;

As a noun Strong and positive emotion of regard and affection, Passion, Any object of form or affection, Beloved, Dearest, Sexual love (lust and desire), Love making.

As a verb – Liking for someone; having great affection, A feeling of intense affection given freely without any restriction, Love exists in all persons either with sensibility (for all people) or passion (strongly excited or a particular person).

2.    The Nature of Love:

Hub: Love;

Ishq: Deeper love and becomes obsessive and commit haraam deeds. Love is a human sickness (Psychological);

Spiritually: natural instinct;

Sacrificial love: Religious love (ex. Allah).

Muslim Scholars: Al Jaahab/ Ibn Qiyah in the book of Al Nisa (book of women) say the difference between Hub – which they think is natural and Ishq is something intellectual, going beyond for what they desire.

Muhammad Ibn Dawood – Al Zooah: Speak about the 100 qualities of Bin Udrah on how they exercised love in their life.

All scholars share the same theory – about similarities of two people:

Datul hadif:– long conversations; hugging; kissing..

Arabs say:– The eye is the white gate into the heart..

The three pillars:

Attributes of the beloved one;

Feelings of love - intention (you have choice) and inclination;

Relationship similarities between two people.

4 Steps to Develop Love:

Using your eye (sight of heart). You should not describe another woman to a married man;

Admiration: To various characteristics;

Obsession: Thoughts of future, logistics;

Building hope and establishing commitment: If you don’t then you are looking for haraam things.

3.    The categories of love:

Natural love/passion;

Rational/religious love;

All forms of love are parallel unless one does not surpass the other (this become shirk).

4.    The signs of love:

The broadening gaze;

Directing the conversations to a beloved one;


Engage in a playful tug of war – breaking plates;

Opposite do attract;

Sometimes they fight – it is a sign of love;

Hurrying to their locations;

Happy/cheerful when close;


Dec. sleep and appetite.

5.    The ruling of love in Islam:

Love is not in your hand, it is in Allah’s hand;

Surah Al-Imran (A 14) – desire to love from women. Men to women and vice versa;

Those who don’t love are the people who are hard as rocks.

They are two types:

Optional – Leads to love; sudden look;

Natural - How you are going to react to this will be asked by Allah

From the Sunnah of Prophet (s)...

Ibn Majjah: A man came to Rasullah and said that "Yah Rasullah, we are taking care of an orphan girl. A man came and said that two men came and asked for the hand in marriage for the orphan girl, one rich one poor, but she loves the poor man. He said that "we liked the rich man". The man said "who should I choose?" Rasullah told him to allow the girl to marry the poor one. The mate should not be judged on their status, or wealth

Amr bin Aas came to the Prophet (s) after he gave Amr the commander of an expedition, and asked, "O Rasulllah, who is the most beloved to you amongst all mankind?" Rasullah said, "Aisha". Amr said, "Then?" Rasullah said, "Her father" (Sahih Bukhari)

Fatimah, daughter of Prophet (s), came to the Prophet (s) and said for him to be just with the other wives. The Prophet (s) said that, "I love her (Aisha), so love her too". Fatimah said, "I love her". Az-Zuhri said: "the first love recognized in Islam was the love of the Prophet (s) for Aisha"

6.    Stories of love:

Love – do not have control over it; you will not be accounted unless you pursue in unlawful way.

Predating Islamic era: Arabs are considered to be lustful people..

Antara: He was born from a female slave.

Al Abdah: Was his cousin from a free woman.

He was inferior because of the way he was born. He became the strongest warrior of his tribe. He even asked for his cousin’s hand in marriage but her father refused her hand. Started to write Arab poetry.

Islamic era:

The first love in Islam was recognized by Prophet SWS for Ayesha RTA. He loved Ayesha RTA more than his other wives.

Last thing Prophet had in his mouth was Ayesha RTA saliva – because she just fixed his miswak for him

If love happens naturally then you are not answerable to Allah.

Hub – came from many narrations.

7.    Scholarly works on love:

Kitalb us-Zohra – by Mohammed Ibn Dawood

Zammul Hawaah – by Ibn Jowsi (condemning desire & lust)

Raudatul Muhibbin – by Ibn Al Qairi

Al Masoon – Ibrahim Al Husari (preserved, protected).

Al Bousseeri said in his poetry:

Does the lover think that his love can be concealed? While his eyes are shedding tears and his heart is glowing, Had it not been for love, you would not have shed tears at the ruins (of your beloved), nor would you become restless at the remembrance of the cypress (tree) at the high mountain, How do you deny love after the testimony, Borne against you by (such) reliable witnesses as your tears and your illness.”


SOURCES: Fiqh of Love

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